What Makes A Man

One of my favorite songs ever is “What Makes a Man” by City and Color. I first heard it at summer camp when I was ten years old. It was played for us by a counselor on boys night, and he intended the song as a prompt to get us (a bunch of 10–16 year olds) to start thinking about what it meant to be a man in this world.

As I’ve got older, I’ve become more and more amazed by how complicated this song is. It’s not just as simple this makes a man and this does not. We are fed two competing ideas of masculinity from birth: the Alpha, toned but emotionally repressed chad and the Beta, emotional but weak white knight. You can see the tension between these two modes of what a man is supposed to be in the song. Listen to it if you don’t believe me.

I think both the Alpha and Beta models of masculinity are wrong. Or rather, I think they are both mere theses to the platonic synthesis of true masculinity. What follows is my synthesis.

A true man is strong.

Physically. He can lift heavy objects and run long distances. He can withstand extremes of cold and heat. He does not need to constantly be stuffing his face with food.

Emotionally. His mood is not wholly dependent on the external environment, but feels the pull back to a calm…